By October (10 months later), I had realized that I couldn't quit. I had sacrificed too much and if I quit now, all of that would've been for nothing. I applied to Apple Corp. and received a job offer. ~$35k? I'll take it. Decent money for a 24 year old but it'll give me a chance to trade and survive this learning curve. From 7:30am-4:00pm I would spend my day at Kershner. From 6:00pm to 3:00am I would use the remainder of my energy on selling Apple products (not very hard). Do the math. I began sleeping very little. I guess "sleeping" is an understatement.

     Today marks my 18th month and I can't help to think about why I trade... or why I'm stilling enduring this miserable process. I'm financially motivated, but as Pradeep Bonde says, "It is much harder to make 100k a year trading than find a job that will pay you as much." Maybe it's the competitor in me to not want to give up or become a statistic. The past two months have been extremely difficult in this slow environment and have caused me to doubt myself and my potential. With the 2nd half of the year being here, I thought this post would be important. Why is it that I trade? What is it that makes me keep going?

     I don't know if I can ever put it into words but wanted to document some of my thoughts. If I give up, I would never enjoy the benefits that trading offers: money, competition, professionalism, self-betterment, etc. If I keep going, I potentially align myself with a great career in which I can financially provide for my family, develop personal skills to better my life, and create time to spend living... and not having to work around the clock. During the past year and a half, I have learned how to trade off support and resistance levels, momentum swings, held bids/offers. The past few months have taught me patience and the importance of self-motivation. The past few weeks have emphasized my risk management strategies, betting 2-3x as much in my best setups. The past few hours..... well, the past few hours have give me an opportunity to write this post. I hope that as I trade everyday, I'll improve a little everyday. And if I ever had to read this post again, I'll be reminded of a few things. If I give up now, the past 18 months would have been for nothing. If I give up now, I will never know how much better I could've or would've been. If I give up now, I'll always regret it. There will always be learning curves, a learning curve for each new market. I will always learn something new and there will always be another way to make more money and become a better performer. I trade to dominate each learning curve and a "better me" begins today.... and how I prepare for each session.